American Wedding

I been on this Frank Ocean kick for about a week now and he has this song called American wedding on his mix tape. Three friends came to mind that I knew were in this situation: getting married at a young age, in a courthouse…No family, no friends, just the two of them…so “in love”. Not really understanding the enormity of what they’re doing. It’s not their fault though, it’s the American way.

It's just an American wedding
They don't mean too much
They don't last enough
We had an American wedding
Now what's mine is yours
American divorce

They really don’t mean too much these days. Now I still believe in marriage but this country goes about it all wrong. Everyone is in a hurry. What’s wrong with taking your time to fully make sure this is what and who you want? What’s wrong with learning this person in and out? I mean it’s not gonna take you two years to realize you don’t like someone so it’s not like you wasting some kind of time. Marriage is a completely different level and most people don’t seem to quiet get that. It’s like marriage has become a form of dating. I never got people who were proud to say I’ve been married 5 times like it was some kind of an accomplishment..smh People get married because they know if it don’t work out, or if the person turns out not to be what they wanted, they have that safety net called Divorce. Get half and it’s on to the next, that’s our motto (for women anyway)! I know some friends might not like me for this piece but umm…let’s be real. Out of the 3 couples I know that are under the age of 23 and married, only 1 couple is actually doing well for themselves. One friend in particular got married after knowing the guy for 6 months. She got married to him real quick and in a hurry, before anyone could convince her not to. And now? Now you stuck with a husband…you know what, I’m not gonna put her business out there. Let’s just say they aint all peaches and crème. Now she’s trying her hardest not to become another divorce statistic but is that really worth you staying miserable all the time? Is it worth this roller coaster ride this fool is taking you on? I understand it’s a marriage and you have to work through things…but some problems can’t be fixed and some people just aren’t meant to be together. Now you sitting here wondering where is the man I married…but reality is, he’s right there in your face. You just got married to him before you really met him, before you really knew who he was. I can’t get through to her though so I stopped speaking on it a while ago.

This wedding ring won't ever wipe off
But if you stay
Girl if you stay
You'll probably leave later anyway
It's love made in the u.s.a

“You’ll probably leave later anyway”. So many people believe this line because they feel, whichever sex depending on your perspective, can’t be committed. The reality is, people don’t know what they want. They get something good and then instead of enjoying and appreciating that, they go running to see if they can find better. Get to know a person… I mean really get to know them. That usually takes more than a year. Do they make you smile? Do they understand you? Do they accept you without judgment? Can you talk to them about anything… or about nothing at all? Can you see yourself living without them? If you have answered yes to all these questions…and no to the last, then accept it. Accept that you have found the best, for you. Cherish them and don’t let em go. There’s no secret to having a successful marriage…it’s really common sense. And as soon as we realize that Love is only about 35% of that marriage deal, and not enough to keep everyone happy…well…maybe the American wedding can get a little more respect.