Superficial Bullshit

Am I kool enough? Do I dress well enough? Am I pretty enough? Do I have enough muscles and tattoos? Please tell me! Tell me! I need to hear it!  (-__-) At the end of the day it’s about being happy with you. You have to gain confidence, you have to be able to look in the mirror and not need verification from someone else about how attractive you are or about how good of a person you are. Everyone is so stuck on the superficial.  Submitting pics to one of these cutest/sexiest/most beautiful people blogs and getting upset when u don’t see it posted…lol I know someone has done this to themselves. Sweetheart until you believe it yourself, it doesn’t matter how many people tell you you’re pretty or handsome. You could get a thousand and one compliments in a day but that still won’t stop you from staring in that mirror and wishing certain things were different, wondering what people see to provoke compliments. No one is perfect! Hell I been in that mirror myself a few times, wondering why I couldn’t look like this or wondering why that boy didn’t like me.  It took me a lil minute to realize this but now I understand that if that boy was only concerned about my physical…then I didn’t need to be concerned with him.  Or anybody who didn’t bother to get to know me for that matter. Take it from these celebrities. No matter how glamorous or beautiful you are, there will always be someone trying to put you down. Trying to find something on you to pick on. Trying to convince you and everyone else that you’re not that cute. You have to be able to say, “If I’m not that cute to you, well that’s all fine and dandy. But I’m the shit to me.” 

Timelines

“Why is everyone in the world in such a rush. Slow down folks please.” –Activelistening

Society is all about fast paced living. Everyone is trying to move out quick, get grown quick, make money quick, have kids quick…smell the roses? For what?

You see we on a timeline. Graduate high school by 18, graduate college by 21. Have kids, get married, own a house, and be successful all before 30 cause…well…30 is old right? But how many of us really stay on this time line? Most of my senior class sure as hell aint graduating college in 2012, and none of them should feel bad about that. Since when was it about the time frame you graduated in rather than you having a degree period. Why should we smell the roses? Because they may not be there tomorrow. Why should we appreciate the people around us? Because they may not be here tomorrow. Why should we be thankful for our life today, even if it isn’t as perfect as we would like? Because we may not be here tomorrow. Please don’t forget life is not guaranteed. That’s not just a theory or some bumper sticker quote…it’s fact. My homie Frankie (RIP) he didn’t know the night he went to work he wouldn’t be coming home the next morning. But you know what, Frankie never rushed anything. He moved at his own pace, took his time, appreciated every detail of every person and everything he was doing. 26 years old, not complaining, not feeling old, but enjoying every second of it, smiling all the way through. That was Frankie. That is the attitude we all should have. Don’t let this timeline society has created control you. Move at your own pace, live for you and no one else, and do whatever makes you happy. I promise everything else will fall into place as it should. 

R.I.P Frankie

Those were some bomb ass drinks you made us that night to lo

American Wedding

I been on this Frank Ocean kick for about a week now and he has this song called American wedding on his mix tape. Three friends came to mind that I knew were in this situation: getting married at a young age, in a courthouse…No family, no friends, just the two of them…so “in love”. Not really understanding the enormity of what they’re doing. It’s not their fault though, it’s the American way.

It's just an American wedding
They don't mean too much
They don't last enough
We had an American wedding
Now what's mine is yours
American divorce

They really don’t mean too much these days. Now I still believe in marriage but this country goes about it all wrong. Everyone is in a hurry. What’s wrong with taking your time to fully make sure this is what and who you want? What’s wrong with learning this person in and out? I mean it’s not gonna take you two years to realize you don’t like someone so it’s not like you wasting some kind of time. Marriage is a completely different level and most people don’t seem to quiet get that. It’s like marriage has become a form of dating. I never got people who were proud to say I’ve been married 5 times like it was some kind of an accomplishment..smh People get married because they know if it don’t work out, or if the person turns out not to be what they wanted, they have that safety net called Divorce. Get half and it’s on to the next, that’s our motto (for women anyway)! I know some friends might not like me for this piece but umm…let’s be real. Out of the 3 couples I know that are under the age of 23 and married, only 1 couple is actually doing well for themselves. One friend in particular got married after knowing the guy for 6 months. She got married to him real quick and in a hurry, before anyone could convince her not to. And now? Now you stuck with a husband…you know what, I’m not gonna put her business out there. Let’s just say they aint all peaches and crème. Now she’s trying her hardest not to become another divorce statistic but is that really worth you staying miserable all the time? Is it worth this roller coaster ride this fool is taking you on? I understand it’s a marriage and you have to work through things…but some problems can’t be fixed and some people just aren’t meant to be together. Now you sitting here wondering where is the man I married…but reality is, he’s right there in your face. You just got married to him before you really met him, before you really knew who he was. I can’t get through to her though so I stopped speaking on it a while ago.

This wedding ring won't ever wipe off
But if you stay
Girl if you stay
You'll probably leave later anyway
It's love made in the u.s.a

“You’ll probably leave later anyway”. So many people believe this line because they feel, whichever sex depending on your perspective, can’t be committed. The reality is, people don’t know what they want. They get something good and then instead of enjoying and appreciating that, they go running to see if they can find better. Get to know a person… I mean really get to know them. That usually takes more than a year. Do they make you smile? Do they understand you? Do they accept you without judgment? Can you talk to them about anything… or about nothing at all? Can you see yourself living without them? If you have answered yes to all these questions…and no to the last, then accept it. Accept that you have found the best, for you. Cherish them and don’t let em go. There’s no secret to having a successful marriage…it’s really common sense. And as soon as we realize that Love is only about 35% of that marriage deal, and not enough to keep everyone happy…well…maybe the American wedding can get a little more respect. 

Old piece from a personal blog of mines. It's gonna be more posts like this to come...

Sometimes i feel real out of place as far as my generation goes. Maybe it’s how i was raised…see, my parents are Nigerian. Completely different and unique culture. Even though i grew up in Georgia i still was raised with a heavy Nigerian influence. In that culture, having a family and being successful enough to provide for that family means you have succeeded in life. Maybe that’s why i’m such a “relationship” kind of person. I feel like as far as my career goes, i’m definitely on  the right path. No one can shake my confidence on that because i am an intelligent young lady and bad grades and what not was never apart of my upbringing. Anyway..back to feeling out of place….see, my generation is all about “getting money”. I’m 21, 22 in February, so whatever your perception of my generation is…there u go. Money is everything and marriage is…as someone once said to me, “a joke”. The other day a club was promoting the parties that they hosted and one was a divorce party….Divorce party???? sooooo we celebrate divorces now? smh, what kind of shit is that? I don’t believe in divorce. Marriage is til death do you…only time i would ever consider divorce is if my husband abused me or my children. but at the same time, that’s not something that just shows up out of the blue. That’s the problem these days, people dont take the time to really get to know a person in and out before getting married. 6 months of dating and dude already proposing…smh. Relationships take time, patience, and the passion and love to make it work. Nothing comes easy. oh and the money thing, everybody is on this get rich quick type mess. guys wanna be rappers and girls wanna be nicki minaj, or a video girl…hell some don’t even know what they wanna do wit themselves. Some people actually have the talent and the passion to succeed in those industries but not every damn body is destined to be a rapper or a singer. the pass few guys I’ve talked to have been so called rappers and a party promoter. So it was very refreshing to come across a guy who actually had a plan…rapping was a past time not a career goal. He was business minded and knew exactly what he wanted for himself….gained my respect instantly. Maybe i just don’t get out enough but we need more men like this. See my train of thought is different from most people i know. All everyone is worried about is partying, and making money. No one seems to have a passion for anything these days…..idk….maybe its just me. But it’s sad how the next generation is gonna be a bunch of kids who grew up with single parents and no sense.