UniquelyNatural

I remember when people made fun of you for drinking cough syrup just to get a buzz...

2012-01-20T18:23:00.001-08:00

Now it seems to be the thing to do. I mean really? This whole "lean" thing is out of control in my opinion. The prime example of people just following a crowd. Do they think about the side effects? Of course not. No one worries about how it could cause your breathing to slow to a dangerous rate or stop completely. Or how it could...well idk, kill you. -___- No they just want to look kool with their 2 styrofoam cups (could be purple, it could be pink and all that jazz), just like wayne and them rappers down in Houston. That's why i don't pay attention to that whole "oh it's never killed anyone bullshit when it comes to weed and alcohol (even though alcohol is very capable of killing) as a means to justify what people are doing. Ummm, lean has killed people...soooo now what's your excuse? I mean, i would think a corona or a shot of vodka/tequila or something is better than sitting here drinking some mess that really makes you feel like shit in my opinion. I was prescribed codeine last year and that mess did NOT have me on no cloud 9. I wasn't even taking it the way the doctor told me to because i hated how it made me feel. What's really got me going is the fact that this mess is all over the place. People posting pictures on facebook, negros tweetin talking bout "who selling some Promethazine?" Like really? I didn't know it had gotten so popular. I didn't know drinking prescription allergy medicine with sprite was the kool thing to do now. People kill me....seriously.

Waiting on the Man to change

2012-01-10T14:15:00.000-08:00

I tweeted something yesterday that made oomf (I now knowthat means “one of my followers” lol) bring up a very good point. I said, “Isn’tthe south supposed to be the home of the gentlemen? I guess they all moved.” Hesaid that women aren’t looking for that anymore. Sad but true. Women havelowered their standards and as a result, these men or boys…let’s just say males,see no point in doing the extra. Extra as in being respectful, loyal, faithful,and so on. I’ve touched on that before so I’m not going in on that now.

There are men out there that are good. Gentlemen still doexist but we don’t see them because we as females spend all our time trying tochange a dog into a man. It’s not possible and time shouldn’t be wasted ondoing so. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t matter how good the pussy is. Ifa man isn’t ready to settle down…he’s not going to. If a man isn’t ready to befaithful and focus on one woman…he’s not going to. If a man isn’t ready totrust or believe there are good women out there…he’s not going to, period. Now I’mnot saying you can’t be the inspiration behind a changed man or that you can’tbe that last push he needed over the edge because that is very possible. Butdon’t think his changes are completely based on you.

I woke up from anap, went to my phone to check twitter, and the first thing I see is a tweetfrom a guy I used to talk to… a guy I really liked at one point actually. Itsaid “there are NO BITCHES at my school, smh” another tweet said “I will shareany girl except my main.” There was one other ignorant tweet but I can’tremember what it said. Now at first I was like wow, I really dodged a bulletwith this guy, I thought I knew him. Then I realized I DID know him. Which iswhy what we had never amounted to anything. I knew he wasn’t going to befaithful, I knew he wasn’t going to trust me, and I sure as hell knew I was justanother “bitch” in his contacts. A part of a team. That’s why I walked away,removed him from my life. He truly does have potential to be a good guy, I sawthat in him too…but am I going to sit here and spend all my time and energytrying to bring that out of him? Hell naw! He is not ready to be that man and itdoesn’t matter what I do, or how good I am to him…he won’t change until he isready. Now some women have that “oh if I stick around long enough, somethingwill change eventually” mentality. Which may be true, but why sit waiting forthis man to change when there are plenty of men out there who have already gonethrough these changes? Men who have grown up into the mature, respectful, lovingmen they are supposed to be and now they’re just waiting on a good woman totreat right. But here you are stuck on this fool that you that you think youcan change. I’m sorry but I have no time or patience for that. You not ready tobe “tied down”, “Smash, no cuffin” and all that good stuff, that’s great! Doyou! Just don’t expect me to be in your life while you doing it. Women…up yourstandards. No need for long ass lists but…can we at least not settle for a partof the team over being the one and only? Can we at least not be okay with beingcalled bitches? Can we at least know what we’re worth?

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is farabove rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10)

A Short story i wrote a little earlier

2011-12-29T19:40:00.000-08:00

Julie

Tyler was a man with very few beliefs. He lived in a worldthat he thought was cruel, heartless, and ignorant. He was the definition of aloner, never really caring about being part of the society. A characteristicthat he’s always had. His family was gone and he did not keep any closefriends. He preferred it this way. Life was easier without the burdens ofemotional attachments. He lived a simple life, spending most of his days atwork. You would think with the amount of money he made he would treat himselfto a vacation or maybe a night on the town. He didn’t see the point in thosethings however…just time wasted. “Dude, you really need to get out more...” hiscoworker droned on in the lobby of the employee break room. “There’s more tolife than your cubical.” Tyler simply rolled his eyes and didn’t respond hopingMark would get the message and leave him alone. The last time he decided tobreak his pattern and go to a bar with Mark, things ended disastrously. No needto relive such events. “Look if you’re still pissed about the last time, I’msorry. I didn’t realize how much of a bitch that chick was.” Mark insisted asif he had been picking Tyler’s thoughts. Tyler finally spoke in a raspy voicehe almost didn’t recognize, that was a common reminder to him of how little hespoke. “It’s fine man, I’m just not in the mood that’s all.” Mark sighed andwalked away with a bit of an annoyed look on his face mumbling something alongthe lines of you’re never in the mood.Most would think that Tyler was missing something or unhappy with his life.He’d even heard a few coworkers joking behind his back about how he shouldcommit suicide already. But Tyler was fine; he didn’t feel there was anythingwrong with him. He just didn’t feel the need to participate in the mundane andredundant things that most people worried about.

Tyler lived a few blocks up the street from his job so hetends to walk to work. It was a beautiful day, clear blue skies, warm weather,and the light breeze was just enough to keep you from being uncomfortable. Ofcourse Tyler never noticed the little things, his only thought was the bottleof Jack Daniels he had sitting on his table top and his bed. His boss had toldhim to go home early and take a break…”You’re a hard worker Tyler and thiscompany is glad to have people like you, but I think a few days off will do youjustice.” were his words. A few days off?For what?! To do what?! I wish people would stop trying to fix what isn’tbroken! I’m fine…I’m more than fine,I’m GREAT. A loud screech followed by a thud, the sound of glass breaking,and a scream immediately brought him out of his thoughts. There was a girllying motionless on the pavement in front of a minivan with a brokenwindshield. People were already surrounding her but most were in shock, notdoing anything. Tyler ran over to check if the girl was still alive. She had ashallow pulse and she was breathing, but bleeding profusely, he didn’t noticewhere the blood was coming from. “Somebody…” he stopped to clear the raspysignature out of his voice. “Somebody dial 911”, his voice was very calm forsomeone who had just witnessed an accident. He didn’t yell that sentence likemost did, he simply spoke it as if he was asking someone to pass the salt. Henotices a woman pulling out a cellphone and he proceeds to walk away. Hefigured his good deed for the day, if it could be called that, had been done. Butas soon as he tried to lift his leg he felt a gentle pull, it was just enoughto get his attention. He looked down to see the young lady, now conscious,tugging at his pants and trying to speak. He crouched down to hear her better.“What did you say?”

“Don’t leave me,” she mumbled before coughing up a mouthfulof blood. He stared at this young girl with tears in her eyes, so obviouslyafraid to be alone. Even with the blood, bruises, and cuts…he could tell shewas attractive. Any other time he would of said he was sorry and walked away,but it was something about this girl…he almost felt as if he owed her hiscompany. He sat with his legs crossed and pulled her into his lap immediately regrettingthe action after he’d done it. Don’t they say don’t move someone who’s been inan accident...what if he had just paralyzed her from the waist down orsomething. “Do you feel anything? Can you feel your legs?” He was surprised atthe panic in his voice…he actually sounded like he cared. But he shook hishead, knowing that he was only trying to cover his own ass. The girl slowly shookher head yes and he sighed in relief. He didn’t understand what he was doing,he should leave. He doesn’t know this girl, surely he could call someone elseto hold her if she just didn’t want to be alone. “What’s your name?” Theclarity of her voice caught him off guard, she was clearly fully conscious nowsurprisingly. “Tyler...” he said warily, he wasn’t too fond of giving strangersinformation about him, even if it was just his name. “Tyler…where is yourfamily?”

“Dead…” Hehad already said the word before he realized how insensitive that was to thesituation, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m allalone too.” Her thoughts seemed to trail off for a few seconds before shecontinued speaking. “Have you ever been in love Tyler?” He immediately rolledhis eyes, this girl has got to bedelusional, he thought.

“I don’tbelieve in love…” He answered honestly. Why not indulge her? This day had takena turn for the strange anyway, might as well keep it going.

“Why not?”she didn’t sound very surprised by his answer in fact, there was a hint ofboredom to her tone. Like she had suppressed a sigh.

“It’s justhow I feel. Hey I don’t think I’m the one you should be talking to about love,this isn’t a very good time to be depressed.” He smirked slightly, hoping shehad gotten his mediocre joke. Instead she gave him her full attention, turningto look him in the face and repeating “why not”, no humor at all in her eyes.Tyler sighed and was in disbelief at this random and irrelevant conversationthat was approaching. No one had ever asked him why before…and he never had toexplain his reasoning. It took him a while to figure out exactly what to say ina way that wouldn’t be too difficult to understand and wouldn’t give away toomuch about his past. He decided to keep it general.

“The people in this world areincapable of love. They only look out for themselves. They lie, cheat, andsteal their way into their version of happiness and they don’t care how manybroken hearts they leave behind. Love cannot survive in a world that is aboutsurvival of the fittest…a materialistic world where the only concerns arewealth and power. It just doesn’t exist. Maybe it used to but…not anymore.Everyone just has their own agenda.” Her smile was not the reaction he wasexpecting and her voice when she spoke sounded almost dreamy with a hint ofamusement.

“You know, Icame here looking for love. Looking to start over, enjoy my life…be happy. Youmay think that I wasted my time, and I almost did too. But you changed that.You say we live in a world without love, a world where everyone looks out forthemselves and yet you came to sit here with a dying girl. A complete stranger.He you are sharing my last moments, showing kindness and patience to me. That is love Tyler.”

“I wouldn’tsay that, I’ve been wondering why I’m doing this since the min I sat down withyou.” He wasn’t a saint, and he didn’t want to be here…she had to know that.

“Love iswhat keep you anchored here Tyler, no matter how much you don’t want to believethat. You know you’re very easy to read. You shut people out in fear of beinghurt, but you are a loving person. It’s embedded in your nature. A nature thatyou’re trying to fight for reasons I will never know. And that’s fine but,don’t think for a second that you’re fooling anyone. Everyone can see that ‘Idon’t care’ attitude that you wear so proudly is being forced.”

“You don’tknow me” He tried to tone down the edge in his voice. This girl was out of itand he had to treat her as such. “You don’t know what I’ve experienced; youdon’t know what my life has been like.”

“I know Iwould have loved you. I know I would have tried my best to earn your trust. Iwould have treated you with kindness and loyalty, because I know that all youneed is to be shown that it is possible. I would have shown you that love ispossible.” She stared at him with such intensity in her eyes that he knew shewas fully aware of what she was saying. Not “out of it” at all. The mostsurprising part to her words however, was the sincerity behind them. She didn’tblink, she didn’t look away, she stared right into his eyes and smiled. Herlips were dry, chapped, and almost the same color as her teeth because of thelack of blood in them…but her smile was still beautiful to him. She honestlybelieved that she could have loved Tyler and despite his better judgment… thiscaused him to believe her too. The icy and protective shell that he wore aroundhim most of his life shattered and a wave of emotion washed over him. Suddenly he was aware of everything: the sun,the blue skies, the light breeze, the audience of awe stricken spectators thathe hadn’t realized were watching them, and the medium sized piece of glassprotruding from the girl’s abdomen. His eyes had been opened, but nothingsurrounding him mattered. All that mattered was that he didn’t want her to dienow. Of course he never wanted her todie but now…somehow, he needed her. He wanted so badly to be with her, to walkwith her, to know her. He thought that if there was a God, how he could be socruel as to send him what could have been the love of his life at the time ofher death. How could this situation possibly reestablish his beliefs in anything?

“Tyler...”He looked down at her ashen face; they were practically sitting in a pool ofher blood. “I’m sorry that I came to you too late…but If I can’t leave you withlove, at least let me leave you with hope. You’re a good man Tyler, and you’revery capable of bringing love back into this world. As long as you have hope, you will find loveagain. I promise.” He could feel her pulse weakening and her breathing getting shallower.Her eyes slowly began to close.

“Wait!”Tyler shouted, shaking the girl now, refusing to let her go before answeringhis own question. “Wait! …What’s your name?!” Silence. “What’s your name!?”

“Julie” shewhispered, before falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.

A few weekslater Julie’s estranged mother was packing up the girl’s belongings in herapartment. She hadn’t seen her daughter in years and the news of her death hadleft her heart broken. On her way out of the apartment she noticed a stickynote on Julie’s refrigerator. It was a ‘to do’ list, written on the day shedied. There was only one sentence under the words To Do:

Make a difference in someone’s life.

Rant: feel free to not read

2011-12-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

A follower of mine on twitter RTs this chick and it says, “drink thecum out of a wine class”. Now, lol…out of pure curiosity of what the hell thischick was talking about, I went to her page. Cuz I’m thinking that had to be out of context. But naw, allhomegirls tweets are along those lines. “Suck the dick… on site” yes shespelled sight wrong. “Squeeze the dick on my pussy while you fucking me” I’mnot even sure what that means. “Fuck a ring, buy me a house #soiknowitsreal” Now Iwouldn’t care normally. It’s plenty of chicks that do this for attention ontwitter. Their bios are usually along the same lines. But this chick callsherself classy in her bio. Classy...classy?! It makes me wonder if she knowsthe definition. Broads like this kill me and whether her particular case isjust wanting attention or not, there are chicks out here that really act andthink this way. Trifling type females that give the rest of us a bad name. Imean “fuck a ring, buy me a house?” How bout you buy yo own damn house? Whatmakes you think you need a man to buy you a house? And what MAN do you eventhink is gonna give you the time of day? Maybe these nothing ass niggas mightfall in love with your “classy” cum swallowing abilities, but these CEOs, thesebusiness men, these entrepreneurs? They will use you for exactly what youtalking about and move on with life. No house, no ring, no respect. Yea youmight be able to hold their attention long enough to swallow their cum with awine glass but once the fun is over its “alright bitch get out my house...you’veoverstayed your welcome.” It’s one thing to be a freak...I’m completely downwith that. But it’s another thing to just be straight up nasty with no self-respect.Keep your cum swallowing techniques in the bedroom, and limited to one guy…insteadof putting it on blast on twitter. And broads wonder why dudes approach themthe way they do. U think the nigga reading your tweets is like “Wow, yea she’sdefinitely wifey material!” more like “wow, yea she’s definitely DTF.” Smh,women need to get it together. That shit is not cute nor sexy.

Being in control

2011-12-05T13:28:00.001-08:00

Okay, let’s be honest here. In this day and time,with all the advances we have in medical technology, if you really don’t wantto get pregnant…uuhh you won’t. I mean not only do we have condoms, which I feelis the most unreliable form of birth control by the way…we have spermicide, themorning after pill, the birth control pill/shot, IUDs, hell nuvaring! Therereally is no excuse for an “unplanned pregnancy” except pure negligence. That’sthe truth that most people don’t want to admit. Chicks will come up with allkinds of reasons to justify. Either birth control is too expensive or “it makesyou fat”. Granted some women actually do have systems that may not agree withthe shots or the pills but even then…I did mention spermicide and the morningafter pill did I not? And as far as expenses go, if you don’t have insurance, whichwould make these methods considerably cheaper, they do have the PlannedParenthood clinics. They charge you based on your income and they also havediscounts for students. Hell some of em give away brands of birth control pillsfor free for you to try. My point is we really shouldn’t have so many singleand under 25 mothers running around, or so many abortion clinics overflowing.I’m not trying to start a pro-life or pro-choice debate here; all I’m saying isthat it boils down to being responsible. If you know you are sexually activeand not ready for a child…be woman enough to do something about it. I mean westay blaming men because…they didn’t pull out quick enough or didn’t wear acondom…well you gotta be on your job too ladies. It’s not like there is absolutelynothing you can do about it. I’m not perfect… no one is, but we have to be alittle smarter about our decisions. Paying 20 or 30…or at the most $50 for aPlan B pill is better than paying $300 to $400 at the abortion clinic.

Is it just me?

2011-11-21T22:56:00.001-08:00

I readsomething a lil while ago that really made me wonder if I’m the only one thatfeels the way I feel about commitment or if the majority of people really viewit as some big sacrifice. I mean commitment is a big deal, something thatshouldn’t be taking lightly but it’s not the end of the world. What I read wasa list of a young man’s…I guess cons of commitment? They go as follows: “Compromise,loss of independence, sacrifice of sexual variety, and financial devastation”

Let me go inon this financial devastation first cause that’s what really threw me for aloop. How does commitment equal financial devastation? In what sense? Becausethe way I see it, you could be financially devastated by your damn self. Youdon’t need help with ruining your credit, or accumulating debt. The only way I couldsee commitment having anything to do with your finances is if you have a joint accountwith your significant other (which constitutes marriage) and they’re spendingmoney all willy nilly. But even then, that has more to do with this person’sspending habits rather than the fact that you’re committed to them. Not everyonehas bad spending habits or don’t know how to spend money so there’s a prettybig chance you won’t have that problem. Especially if you talk about thesethings and see what kind of person you’re dealing with before you decide tocommit.

Anyway…backto the reason of why I chose that title. The first 3 on that list seems to be everyone’sproblem with commitment. Is it really that big of a deal though? Compromiseapplies to everything in life. You’re not always going to have things goingyour way. Compromise is essential at work, at school, and just dealing withpeople in general. You’re going to have to learn how to meet people half way,it is what it is. Independence…commitment shouldn’t cost you your independence.Yes you’re not free to be withwhoever you want to but when you decided you didn’t want to be single anymoreyou voluntarily gave that up did younot? So what does it matter? Other than that, you should still be the sameperson. Free to do whatever you want, go wherever you want, and speak towhoever you want. Your significant other shouldn’t stop you from doing any ofthis. The only thing you have to keep in mind is the line of respect. Yes youcan talk to whomever, but don’t flirt or, more specifically, lead them on whenyou know you have a significant other. Yes you can do whatever you want minusanything that you know for a fact would hurt your significant other. I mean allthis shouldn’t be a big deal to you, and if it is…why are you in a commitment? Faithfulnessis what comes along with commitment…how is it a con? Which brings me to “sacrificeof sexual variety”. Very fancy way of saying you can’t fuck whoever, wheneveryou want. Is that really a con? I mean I don’t get people who make such a big dealout of that. Like for example, that video with Kevin Hart’s ex-wife saying shewas unhappy because she’s had the same dick for the past 6 years. Some womenreally think like that (and men as far as pussy goes) and I just don’t get it.I mean did you not realize that you were saying you were kool with having thesame dick for the rest of your life when you were readingyour vows? Lol really though? I mean I’ve never been an advocate or participantin casual sex, so it really doesn’t upset me that when I have a boyfriend, I can’thave sex with nobody but him. But that really seems to piss a lot of people offand I’m just wondering what is the big deal?! I’m lost. Must you really fuckevery attractive person you meet? It’s that serious right? When you commit anddecide to be faithful, that is just a crazy big sacrifice right? Smh. I thinkpeople kind of blow commitment up to be more than what it is but hey…maybe it is just me lol.

What about Free Will?

2011-11-11T10:50:00.001-08:00

You know the saying “what’s meant to be will be” or “what’smeant to be will always find a way”?

Well I’ve been struggling with that concept. Keep in mindthis is my opinion. I believe that God has a plan for us. He has aplace of success that he wants us all to get to. But there’s a catch to that.People kind of look at me crazy when I say that but it only makes sense. I meanif things were going to happen solely because they were meant to be…would wehave homeless? Would we have people struggling? Drug addicts? I mean I don’tthink God meant for anyone to be 40 sumn living on the streets begging forchange. Yea yea okay what’s your point?What’s the catch? The catch is we have free will. We have the ability to chooseour paths in life. Yes God wants usto go one way, but we can decide to go another. I’m not saying everyone who isliving on the streets or going through some kind of trial right now brought itonto themselves. But sometimes that is the case. But let’s bring it back toa more specific topic. When people say what’s meant to be will be they areusually talking about relationships or people walking in and out of our lives.It’s kind of a defense mechanism or something to make you feel better. If itwas meant to be, it will be. That’s thejustification. Well what if it was meant to be but it didn’t happen becausesomeone fucked up. Someone made the wrong decision or did something stupid inthe most major of ways. Is that not possible? Are you telling me that no matterwhat we do as people…if you aremeant to be with someone, it will happen? I tried my best to believe this, tounderstand this concept and I just don’t. Maybe it’ll take someone breaking itdown to me. Or maybe it's just how i feel at the moment because of what I've experienced with people. Example…I was watching The Adjustment Bureau. Hope you seen itcause I’m going to get real specific right about now lol so um, spoiler alert Iguess. The two main characters are meant to be, that’s been established. But,the guy makes a decision…he decides that he’s not going to be with her. Hewalks out on her. And she goes to marry someone else. Now that is kind of outof context but it just illustrates my point. These two people were soul mates,made for each other, true love and all that goodness. But because he made thatone decision…they almost (because of course it’s a movie so he had to go gether back) did not end up together. This happens all the freaking time lol. Andyou might find someone that makes you happy, a good person who genuinely lovesand cares about you, like the guy she was going to marry in the movie. But that doesn’t mean you were supposed to bewith them. That spark, that passion, that fire that you had with your true love…you’llnever feel that again with anyone. I guess this is a real pessimistic way ofthinking lol, idk…but it’s the only way that makes sense to me. It’s likepeople are trying not to blame themselves for messing up something that theyknow would have been great…instead theyjust say “It wasn’t meant to be”. I guess. I'm still back and forth with it myself tho so...whatever.

11th Commandment

2011-11-07T16:49:00.000-08:00

I've been through my fair share of experiences in life.Some people may have had it worse by my age, some easier. But I know that I’ve learned a lot these 21years of living and I’m still learning. One major thing that I’ve realized…theone thing that is essential to your happiness, fulfillment, and success in life…isself-love. Love thyself. That’s what I consider to be the 11^th commandment.People wonder why things seem to be sodifficult, why they have so much trouble in friendships, relationships, familymatters. It all goes back to you and how you feel about yourself. So manyproblems arise when you’re not happy with yourself. You become indecisive, you’reunsure of the decisions that you make and the people you keep around you, youdoubt and question everything. You’re in a bad mood most of the time and itrubs off on other people. Half the time you don’t even know why you’re upset.You push people away and then pull them close when it gets too lonely. I knowthis because I’ve been there. I’m still there honestly but I’ve made progress.I love myself now more than I ever did and that happiness and confidence in mecontinues to grow every day. Once you make that decision to just be contentwith yourself, so many realizations come about. You start realizing that youcan’t make everyone happy, you realize things will not always go as planned, yourealize that you’re going to get your heart broken and you may break a fewyourself, you realize that you may not accomplish all your goals, all yourdreams may not become reality…its life. You can’t beat yourself up. All you cando is accept…

Godgrant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I started saying that prayer all the time, to remind myselfto accept all the things I can’t change…including myself. You are who you areand there’s no denying it. So what else is there for you to do except love you.So when you have achieved that happiness, then you’ll attract others that willhelp to ENHANCE it.

11^th Commandment: Love Thyself.

Females these days can be real foolish, i really don't understand the logic sometimes...

2011-11-02T23:28:00.001-07:00

How you're approached depends on how you act and how you carry yourself. How can you expect to be respected when you're flooding facebook, twitter, tumblr and whatever other social networks with ~~half~~ naked pictures of yourself. I mean seriously, what kind of comments did you expect? This chick (i need to stop adding ppl i don't know on facebook smh) posts a picture of herself, leg propped up on a toilet...boy shorts..and a wife beater that she strategically placed to show off a lower back tattoo. And the caption is "like my shoes?" now you know! lmao, that picture is not about no damn shoes. and yet when a guy comments "I don't know about the shoes but i'm liking everything else i see, how bout you skype me" she catches a major attitude! "don't try me like that!"....don't try you...bitch you tried yaself! lol, i'm sorry but i find this so baffling. Obviously that's the kind of attention you wanted so why you mad? No real man is gonna find that attractive hun. Ugh, it irritates me when females do this. Chicks stay running around screaming chivalry is dead when women are the ones who killed it. It's like we (and i say we because i'm a female, not because i do this lol) accept anything from a man these days. Women are content with being "jumpoffs" or side pieces. So now when a guy runs into a woman who actually has standards and respect for herself, and won't do certain things its "what you won't do the next chick will". Lol, *sigh* i really feel like we as females brought this on ourselves and who knows if we'll ever be able to change it back. I thank God for the few men that actually respect women and still see us as queens and not just something to do.

Superficial Bullshit

2011-10-30T16:06:00.000-07:00

Am I kool enough? Do I dress well enough? Am I prettyenough? Do I have enough muscles and tattoos? Please tell me! Tell me! I needto hear it! (-__-) At the end of the dayit’s about being happy with you. You have to gain confidence, you have to beable to look in the mirror and not need verification from someone else abouthow attractive you are or about how good of a person you are. Everyone is sostuck on the superficial. Submitting picsto one of these cutest/sexiest/most beautiful people blogs and getting upsetwhen u don’t see it posted…lol I know someone has done this to themselves. Sweetheartuntil you believe it yourself, it doesn’t matter how many people tell you you’repretty or handsome. You could get a thousand and one compliments in a day butthat still won’t stop you from staring in that mirror and wishing certainthings were different, wondering what people see to provoke compliments. No oneis perfect! Hell I been in that mirror myself a few times, wondering why I couldn’tlook like this or wondering why that boy didn’t like me. It took me a lil minute to realize this butnow I understand that if that boy was only concerned about my physical…then I didn’tneed to be concerned with him. Oranybody who didn’t bother to get to know me for that matter. Take it from thesecelebrities. No matter how glamorous or beautiful you are, there will always be someone trying to put youdown. Trying to find something onyou to pick on. Trying to convince you and everyone else that you’re not thatcute. You have to be able to say, “If I’m not that cute to you, well that’s allfine and dandy. But I’m the shit to me.”

Timelines

2011-10-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

“Why is everyone in the world in such a rush. Slow down folks please.” –Activelistening

Society is all about fast paced living. Everyone is trying to move out quick, get grown quick, make money quick, have kids quick…smell the roses? For what?

You see we on a timeline. Graduate high school by 18, graduate college by 21. Have kids, get married, own a house, and be successful all before 30 cause…well…30 is old right? But how many of us really stay on this time line? Most of my senior class sure as hell aint graduating college in 2012, and none of them should feel bad about that. Since when was it about the time frame you graduated in rather than you having a degree period. Why should we smell the roses? Because they may not be there tomorrow. Why should we appreciate the people around us? Because they may not be here tomorrow. Why should we be thankful for our life today, even if it isn’t as perfect as we would like? Because we may not be here tomorrow. Please don’t forget life is not guaranteed. That’s not just a theory or some bumper sticker quote…it’s fact. My homie Frankie (RIP) he didn’t know the night he went to work he wouldn’t be coming home the next morning. But you know what, Frankie never rushed anything. He moved at his own pace, took his time, appreciated every detail of every person and everything he was doing. 26 years old, not complaining, not feeling old, but enjoying every second of it, smiling all the way through. That was Frankie. That is the attitude we all should have. Don’t let this timeline society has created control you. Move at your own pace, live for you and no one else, and do whatever makes you happy. I promise everything else will fall into place as it should.

R.I.P Frankie

Those were some bomb ass drinks you made us that night to lo

American Wedding

2011-10-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

I been on this Frank Ocean kick for about a week now andhe has this song called American wedding on his mix tape. Three friends came tomind that I knew were in this situation: getting married at a young age, in acourthouse…No family, no friends, just the two of them…so “in love”. Not reallyunderstanding the enormity of what they’re doing. It’s not their fault though,it’s the American way.

It'sjust an American wedding
They don't mean too much
They don't last enough
We had an American wedding
Now what's mine is yours
American divorce

They really don’t mean too much these days. Now I stillbelieve in marriage but this country goes about it all wrong. Everyone is in ahurry. What’s wrong with taking your time to fully make sure this is what andwho you want? What’s wrong with learning this person in and out? I mean it’snot gonna take you two years to realize you don’t like someone so it’s not likeyou wasting some kind of time. Marriage is a completely different level andmost people don’t seem to quiet get that. It’s like marriage has become a formof dating. I never got people who were proud to say I’ve been married 5 timeslike it was some kind of an accomplishment..smh People get married because theyknow if it don’t work out, or if the person turns out not to be what theywanted, they have that safety net called Divorce. Get half and it’s on to thenext, that’s our motto (for women anyway)! I know some friends might not likeme for this piece but umm…let’s be real. Out of the 3 couples I know that areunder the age of 23 and married, only 1 couple is actually doing well forthemselves. One friend in particular got married after knowing the guy for 6months. She got married to him real quick and in a hurry, before anyone couldconvince her not to. And now? Now you stuck with a husband…you know what, I’mnot gonna put her business out there. Let’s just say they aint all peaches and crème.Now she’s trying her hardest not to become another divorce statistic but isthat really worth you staying miserable all the time? Is it worth this rollercoaster ride this fool is taking you on? I understand it’s a marriage and youhave to work through things…but some problems can’t be fixed and some peoplejust aren’t meant to be together. Now you sitting here wondering where is theman I married…but reality is, he’s right there in your face. You just gotmarried to him before you really met him, before you really knew who he was. I can’tget through to her though so I stopped speaking on it a while ago.

This wedding ring won't ever wipe off
But if you stay
Girl if you stay
You'll probably leave later anyway
It's love made in the u.s.a

“You’ll probably leave later anyway”. So many people believe this line becausethey feel, whichever sex depending on your perspective, can’t be committed. Thereality is, people don’t know what they want. They get something good and theninstead of enjoying and appreciating that, they go running to see if they canfind better. Get to know a person… I mean really get to know them. That usuallytakes more than a year. Do they make you smile? Do they understand you? Do theyaccept you without judgment? Can you talk to them about anything… or aboutnothing at all? Can you see yourself living without them? If you have answeredyes to all these questions…and no to the last, then accept it. Accept that youhave found the best, for you. Cherish them and don’t let em go. There’s nosecret to having a successful marriage…it’s really common sense. And as soon aswe realize that Love is only about 35% of that marriage deal, and not enough tokeep everyone happy…well…maybe the American wedding can get a little morerespect.

Old piece from a personal blog of mines. It's gonna be more posts like this to come...

2011-10-27T22:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimesi feel real out of place as far as my generation goes. Maybe it’s how i wasraised…see, my parents are Nigerian. Completely different and unique culture.Even though i grew up in Georgia i still was raised with a heavy Nigerianinfluence. In that culture, having a family andbeing successful enough to provide for that family means youhave succeeded in life. Maybe that’s why i’m such a“relationship” kind of person. I feel like as far as my career goes,i’m definitely on the right path. No one can shake myconfidence on that because i am an intelligent young lady and bad grades andwhat not was never apart of my upbringing. Anyway..back to feeling out ofplace….see, my generation is all about “getting money”. I’m 21, 22in February, so whatever your perception ofmy generation is…there u go. Money is everything and marriage is…assomeone once said to me, “a joke”. The other day a club was promoting theparties that they hosted and one was a divorce party….Divorce party???? sooooowe celebrate divorces now? smh, what kind of shit is that?I don’t believe in divorce. Marriage is til death do you…only time iwould ever consider divorce is if my husband abused me or my children. but atthe same time, that’s not something that just shows up out of theblue. That’s the problem these days, people dont take the time to reallyget to know a person in and out before getting married. 6 months of dating anddude already proposing…smh. Relationships take time, patience, and the passionand love to make it work. Nothing comes easy. oh and the money thing, everybodyis on this get rich quick type mess. guys wanna be rappers and girls wanna benicki minaj, or a video girl…hell some don’t even know what theywanna do wit themselves. Some people actually have the talent and the passionto succeed in those industries but not every damn body is destined tobe a rapper or a singer. the pass few guys I’ve talked to have beenso called rappers and a party promoter. So it was very refreshing to comeacross a guy who actually had a plan…rapping was a past time not a career goal.He was business minded and knew exactly what he wanted for himself….gained myrespect instantly. Maybe i just don’t get out enough but we need moremen like this. See my train of thought is different from most people i know.All everyone is worried about is partying, and making money. No one seems tohave a passion for anything these days…..idk….maybe its just me. But it’s sadhow the next generation is gonna be a bunch of kids who grew up with singleparents and no sense.